Hell yeah

Hell fucking yeah. I lost 2 kg.  :) :)

I HAVE A THIGH GAP, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT.

My collar bones are extra visible now. I'm so happy like wheeeeeee.

Ok not that happy actually. Main goal: 46kg

It's a must. 



Oh btw, I'm going to Genting from 26-29 Dec and I'm so excited right now. It's like OMG OMG GENTING! The cold weather and the roller coasters.. I can wear my new jacket over my long sleeves shirts like finally :D. Ohp and the Rolling Thunder Mine Train is closed... (what the actual fuck I love that ride)

For now, peace

How To Be

Hello readers, today I'm gonna tell you how to become an obsessive, crazy, insecure directioner.


Step 1) Just act like a normal fan, except that you MUST know these things.

-The height of all the boys

-The weight of all the boys

-The birthdays of the boys

-The birthdays of their girlfriends

-What they like/dislike

Well if you want to be more extreme, try these:

-Their shoe sizes

-Their dick sizes

-How they look like when they were in their mums' wombs

-What they do every day

-Who are they with everyday

  

Overall, just hire a PI to stalk these pretty boys while YOU angel just sit in front of your laptop reading pages after pages while googling "One Direction".

Nah you don't need a PI, paparazzizs will do this job for you :)


Step 2) You must have a lot of emotions when it comes to the boys. By emotions, I meant emotions that will burst out anytime when you hear or see the word "One Direction".

Watch all youtube videos, find anything related to One Direction, COMMENT. Or simply, just comment. Spread your love for One Direction!!

Cry when you see them with their girlfriends. Send hate to their girlfriends or to any girls who go close to them. STOP BREATHING when you see pictures of them. Maybe something like omg i can't breathe what is air. Yes by that, be stupid too.


Step 3) Send hate to anybody you think who will

-Take the fame away from the boys

-Threaten the popularity of the boys

You can do this by hating The Wanted. But be careful, even though The Wanted's fan base is smaller and kinder, they defend their MEN like you defend your boys. Don't bother hating on The Wanted actually. The truth hurts but One D isn't better than The Wanted.

Step 4) Your family and classmates surely hates the way you love your boys. So create a twitter account and be anonymous. It's so much fun I swear. You just go on to that little magical site and let your love for 1D show. It's simple and easy. 

Don't forget to follow their girlfriends too! Compliment them, hate them your choice. Stalk The Wanted. Comment on every shit they do. It will make you feel better. O did I mention, follow 1D's family members too? hmm...

Step 5) YOU CANNOT HAVE A SENSE OF ORIGINALITY. YOU MUST NOT HAVE IT.

Whatever other crazy directioners tweet, YOU FOLLOW THEIR STYLE. 

Seriously. Don't you see the way they tweet are exactly the same?

You basically look at a single tweet at least 100 times...all tweeted by different directioners :) BE LIKE THEM!

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE A SENSE OF ORIGINALITY. 

Step 6) Buy all of their merchandise. No, not only posters, CDs, autographs, pictures..... You must have these too.

One Direction contact lenses        

One Direction blanket with sleeves      

One Direction bed sheets 

One Direction tooth brush and toothpaste

Grab them now! I think you can find them on eBay. 

Step 8) You are ready! Just remember to talk about One Direction 24/7 and ask bitches who dislike One Direction to kill themselves. You can hit them too, ya know. Show your love. Be a crazy ass possessive bitch. You can write fan fics too! I wish you the best of luck.

WARNING

Once you step into this paradise, it's almost impossible to become human again. 

 Good Luck

To Some Girls

To some girls I follow on twitter:

I get it that you guys wanna diet in the holidays and yea it's already irritating me when I look at all of your tweets. Cuz bitch please realize that YOU ARE SPAMMING ME WITH: "Must lose weight" bullshits. What irks me more is that some of you guys actually wanna be anorexic or bulimic thinking that it's the easy way out.
Listen bitches, listen.
I'm trying to be nice here cuz you guys are pissing me the fuck off.

Anorexia and bulimia are mental illnesses, eating disorders. They are not a lifestyle nor a choice. Nobody with eating disorders would wake up one day thinking: "Oh ok I'm gonna be anorexic!!". Trust me, people who are suffering from eating disorders do not feel well or happy that they have such illnesses.
These are not easy ways to lose weight. Also, I can't believe that there are such disrespectful people.

"I wanna be anorexic but the thoughts of me purging will be gross"

Well duh, it's gross to you cuz you DO NOT suffer from it. You are ignorant. You are disrespectful. How would a person suffering from an ED feel if he or she saw that ignorant tweet of yours? Crushed.

"Cross the line if you wanna be anorexic."

O hell naw. WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN AN ED WHEN THEY ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL.
DO YOU KNOW THAT BECOMING AN ANOREXIC WOULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER. IT'S A NIGHTMARE. NOT A JOKE OR PHASE.

You will suffer.
It will be great at first, saying no to food, looking at the scale losing weight. But problems do start. You will actually suffer from an ED gradually, you will actually wished you hadn't wished it in the first place, you will actually wish to recover and enjoy life.

So ignorant fucks, stick to your diets. I rather you guys spam my timeline with useless shit than knowing that one of you suffers from an eating disorder.

Yeah yer.

It's around 2:30am now and I've just cut my hair myself. Again. This means that I'll have another scary and cautious week cuz my mum would not be happy if she found out about my hair. (If you listen carefully, you can hear me sobbing.)

Few things:

1) I was playing with my craft scissors and out of boredom snipped off the hair on my knees. It looked awkward so I was like "Screw it!" and proceeded to use my dad's shaver to shave off my leg hair. 

Know what?

THE FEELING OF HAVING SHAVED LEGS IS JUST SO AMAZING. 

(ok abit gross)

But it was the first time having no hair on my legs and they felt cold. LOL. Abit of internet searching made me realized that once you start shaving, you'll need to commit to it forever. :))))))))))

What have I done to myself :)))))))))

I have no choice but to go shaver hunting during "buy stuffs for chalet in ntuc and other stores" time :))))

              y em i a girl

o ha now I need to hide my hair loss from my mother. 

2) It's been about 5 days I've felt normal. Like a person I guess. Not too happy or sad for no reason, just laugh when I want to. THIS IS LIKE GREAT OK ;EOIRQGHIQEOGHEOHVNGEOIRAHNVRNHV.

Bless the Lord hallelujah amen.

3) Today (yesterday) morning, I went to Upper Pierce Reservoir with my Grandnies and my Grandma bought bee hoon and bread. While we were settled down happily unwrapping the food, a fucking monkey came and snatched my bro's bread. Fucking monkey. 

Lol then a whole group of monkeys went to attack the food of this family with two toddlers and THEY SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF THE KIDS. Girl was crying and crying. Wow a happy trip to a park, childhood memory scarred by a fucking monkey. 

4) I changed my name. Cuz that's just the way it is. -nods head-

5) If you're reading this Goodnight while I go find a worthless boring Wattpad story to make me fall asleep. 

que

Yes finally.
New start. Bitches love new starts. lmao

I freaking love my class gathering and I love my class. I MISS THE WATER BOMB FIGHTS AND I MISS ALL OF MY FRIENDS IN MY CLASS. I love you guys no homo.

I LOVE YOU IUE CHI CUZ WE ACTUALLY DID SO MANY AWKWARD THINGS TOGETHER IN THE CHALET.
ALSO THAT WE SANG AND JUMPED OUR HEARTS OUT IN THE SMALL LITTLE ROOM IN THE CHALET.
(searching for shavers behind the guys) (preparing water balloons) (running for bus 29 at Tampines with da guys)
AND IRIS, THANK YOU FOR INTRODUCING SOURS SKITTLES AND SWEETS TO US. MUST REMEMBER IUE CHI'S FACE WHEN SHE ATE ALL THAT.

LASTLY I FREAKING LOVE 28TH AND 29TH OF NOVEMBER 2012. PEEYACE.

ok seriously I need a time machine cuz the water bomb fight was too fking fun.
Flood a kitchen?? Achievement unlocked.

LET'S SMILE WIDER THAN THE JOKER WHILE THINKING BACK OK

TOM PARKER FROM THE WANTED FOLLOWS ME

SO YESTERDAY, 24 SEPTEMBER 2012, THOMAS PAKER FOLLOWED ME ON TWITTER.
-
At first Tom was having a follow spree which i think i missed... lol so i tweeted him 'is it over??? :/' well idk but he didn't follow me.

Then they were having a following spree at the official the wanted twitter account so yea, like any other normal fangirl, i practically tweeted like about 5 times, asking them to follow me. Buuut no avail.

Then back to Tom's account. Which he tweeted "I'm back people! x" and i'm like "hi :D". The next moment he tweeted 'I think another follow spree is in order x'
Lolol i retweeted that and the next few seconds.....

"@TomTheWanted is now following you!"- echofon

I WAS LIKE WTF? U SERIOUS.

I was grinning and squealing at the back of my car.
And to check that i wasn't imagining shit, i triple checked my interactions and his account. True enough, he IS following me :D
Then i laughed at my sis's face. Lol. I was like "OMG OMG HE FOLLOWED ME. HE FOLLOWED ME."
sis: uhhhh ok... (she is not a fan)
me: proceeds to tweet a bunch of :D and OMFG HE FOLLOWED ME

Then the next moment i immediately mass text ruth, iris, iue chi, ajm and wenfeng. LOL. YEA I WAS THAT EXCITED.
Ruth's reaction was the biggest!!

And i spent the whole day spazzing and going 'eh mei i know you jealous.'
I spazzed to my dad too but he was like .__.
I told my dad and tried to explain how the twitter thing works. and he was like "huh i don't get it."
BUT WHO CARES. I'M HAPPY.

Not to mention today, I practically spazz at random times. Bless me.

MY FIRST CELEBRITY FOLLOWER AND SOMEMORE IS FROM THE WANTED LEH. I'M A FAN. I LOVE THEM.
:D HAPPY ME IS HAPPY. EVEN THOUGH IT'S EOY PERIOD BY FUCK YEAH.

spot me!

Yea i'm the yellow one who was spazzing about Tom in the sea of sad tweeps who are stressing about eoys. 

I LOVE MY LIFE. (more)

"heyy i'm back yoz"

"oh i sware to ya! ai'll bee dare fur ya! thish ish nawt a trive by ai ai ai ai~"
sang my bro in the car which made me and my family lmao. i love you.

When i was in the polyclinic today, i felt weird. whyyy?? i was the only young teen in a sea of old people. like wtf... When i went to get my blood pressure checked, i'm with old people. Lol heart y u lik dis to me.
On the bright side... it's been a long time since i had my blood drawn out properly and i was always scared of needles but today!!!!!11 I stared at the needle poking through my arm and the blood flowing out. cuz honestly, that's not bravery. After what happened to myself, that pain is not even 'pain'. it's more like a 'not pain 的 pain' tadah.
My dad was shocked. Apparently dad, i didn't try to escape like how i used too. LOOK I EVEN STARED AT MESELF BEING POKED OK.
ECG was awkward cuz i need to get semi naked for it. Please let all female doctors do this. Yes. Must.
I was asking her alot of boliao questions until she said 'lie down there ok? :)'
me: fml my ankles my arms my thighs
mum: what's wrong just relax
me: ok
*lies down awkwardly, refuses to let anyone go near my ankles*
mum: oi relax your legs
me: i am!!! -lol refusing to budge from the awkward position~-
mum: -hold my ankles-
me: shit die
mum: .....
[apparently, she didn't ask me anything so i assume she didn't see those lines on my ankles] thank god.
Got a bad bruise from the blood test and the consultant referred me to KK hospital for a heart specialist. L O L LIFE.

-what was in my head when he said 'i'll refer you to Kk. 心脏是有问题.'-
this was what i typed once out of consultation room

omg what?????? i'm gonna die??? hahahahaha i'm gonna skip school. And look KK!!! I'm back yoz. i'm back bitches!! You're gonna see me again! omg i can skip school! yes yes yes... but no i think i'm gonna die. i love you world i hate you world. i'm surrounded with old people. nvm kk is full of kiddos k bye blogger

------
^_^ yay. Enough of the clinical shit i'mma move on to my tuition.

HEY THERE CUTE GUY YOU LOOK SO CUTE AND GOOD TODAY AND I'M SITTING BESIDE YOU. YOU LOOOK GOOD IN WHITE AND SCHOOL UNIFORM. I LIKE YOU I THINK. BUT NO MAX TOM NIALL FIRST SORRY. OK MAYBE SIVA TOO. JAY! ERM ZAYN! HAHA OKAY BYE CUTE GUY.
-written by a normal teenager who fangirls alot ok
----
got my progress report yesterday, no hell but disappointed with myself. Yes i just did it again ah fuck i relapsed.
Ruth got me hooked onto The Wanted so much. Oh there's a reason why they are called The Wanted. ;))

MY HEART MELTS AT heart vacancy(yes my bby you're still no1 in my playlists) weakness and replace your heart and warzone and chasing the sun and alot more.

okay i'm out bye!

if you can

read this and you're god damn magical

Teachers' Day

Two days ago was Teachers' Day and my wishes go to those teachers who helped me alot and the school counsellor! :)
The concert was great especially the Oppa Gangnam Style dance cuz Mr. F was dancing damn funnyily LOL. [i've always hated the stupid 'song' and only loved it for once due to the performance wtf]. Classroom time was damn boliao so i spammed myself with coke and chocolate. Bad choice cuz i puked right after that and it tasted shitty as fuck.
Went back into class with iris, being as emo as i can get until Kathy called to ask about the gathering. Lol ok.
Met Keith coincidentally while going Hougang to meet Kathy, so I might as well wait for the others together and meet Kathy loh. Not a bad choice cuz i got to catch up with Jamie and Xin Yan. Not bad at all ;)

damn i hate iphone blogger. Safari one suck balls please.

I've got my lunch at HIPS cuz i missed everything so much. Everyone didn't change much actually.... And some people don't recognize me wth.
No regrets. < lol
Migrated to 309 and we were making so much noise when talking to Mrs Tan. first word we told her- 'SHIT' and she laughed instead of chasing all of us out of the place. Lol how cute.

topics includes:
1) Education
2) What we hated about her
3) Why must she treat us like that during P6
4) 50 Shades Of Grey
5) Teachers
6) Teachers and porn
ahem okaye.
Talked for like about one hour and went with Brenda to grab le old school Bubble Tea. Damn sad that Bryan and Kathy had to leave early. Marc didn't come. Walao I wanna see Bryan and Marc leh. Sad me was sad.

Went home after chatting with Brenda at the traffic light junction. Standing there for about 30minutes before saying bye.

Went home and met with pms parents. Good mixture of a day i could get.

人会累的

＂我受够了。不知道为什么自己也会便成这样。以前能快乐和开朗的我也不在了。 ＂

Tired of living. Tired of everything. So suicidal sometimes but all i can actually think of is my brother. Are results that important? Does it really determine who i am? Will i die?
I hate to hide my results from my parents though. But these few days are pure misery. My gpa is like shit. The worst part is that i've really no motivation to do anything. Yea anything.....
I feel so empty and worthless. Lol not to mention hopeless. Can only feel nothing. Can't smile at home. Can't eat properly at home. Can't study at all. All i would do is sleep. maybe Zoloft but i bet it won't help? Maybe idk but i feel like shit. I wanna die. Really want to.
-joke- i've wrote one stupid letter to my parents when i found out that i failed maths. The letter is a suicide note -.- yea judge.
I'm still here lolol and what's inside my mind that day was "let me overdose. I need to overdose" aaand to think of it, i've no pills to overdose on. HA HA

In school it's so much worse. I can't contain everything so I need to hide inside the toilet. Failed science, almost crashed. Yea lah i weak lah ok.
But i never failed a subject i love so much before. Walao who wouldn't wanna cry. And for that recess, I hid in the toilet and made a super deep cut. Wtf. Iue Chi saw. Dunno but it made me feel better but now the thing is... there's nobody to understand me.
Smiling and laughing is totally different now. I can only feel the temporary happiness and when i'm alone, tadah depression creeeeps baaaack like a mofo.
So tired of life. I hate going back to the place. It's like the feeling of emptiness is so indescribable i can just die feeling nothing. 有时觉得自己没用。
Me mum asked me to choose-
1) Take shit
2)Please control

I've asked my friends and they were like 'Control'. Omg so hard but i dont want the side effects too. Life, y u lik dis.
Maybe i should get myself up for maniac.....but how the hell would you do that.
please let me just disappear from the world.

Dear Grandnies

I love you very much, thank you for being there for me throughout my dark times.

Thank you for all the car rides.

Thank you for all the food.

Thank you for all the kind naggings.

Thank you for all the park trips.

Thank you for defending me when I'm in trouble.

Thank you for being too kind to me.

Thank you for teaching me how to preotect myself.

Thank you for giving me money.

Thank you for letting me stay over at your house.

Thank you for being there when I broke my arm.

Thank you for being my grandnies.

Thank you for your love. 

secondly

it feels better when you just talk to somebody. so i'm better.

Tuition today was hell i can't concentrate. Was so tired cuz yesterday night, i was spamming dramas. So much i wanna say so badly urgh.
_________________________________
if you know, when I was 12 i had anorexia and i WAS trying to recover from it until i managed to pull myself out from it last year. ehm... i've gained weight and isn't very happy.
So i went to my relatives' and when they saw me, they went "wow you look -inserts hand sign which indicates that i've gained weight-"
me reaction: .... thanks....??
That sucks, :/
justtt suuucks.

It's not a good feeling. It's like 'wow you managed to get me into shit again' but i don't think i can be angry. (the worst part). She don't know about me so €|€|\*_££.@@:@:@2$-$7;& chiil :)
:/ hm idk what to feel actually.

What's wrong with me today, :/ why so many emoticons.
Aaaaand yesterday was like the best thing ever cuz i managed to go against some temptations AND IT FEEELS SOOO AMMAZZZZIING.

Few days ago
I got an accident with a damn trolly and the protruding metal stick on it scratched me like thrice. on me leg. and the wounds were horrid and Aly thought i did it myself lolol whuuut. I thought so too. They just look so horrid. my mum was worried and bought me to the doc's.

What happened was:
Doctor: anything i can help?
Mum: ya she scratched her leg accidentally, is there any infection?
Doctor: -gave me the what the heck face-
Me: what.
Mum: Yes?
Doctor: No infection.... i guess.
Me: wtf
Mum: You sure?
Doctor: If you're worried i can give you antibiotics.
Me in head: Oh no mummy i hate antibiotics wtf omfg

That's the irrelevant story of irrelevant medicines for small lil wounds. |[- _ -]|

-

Where's iris i need her to feel happy for me. Lolol
wtf k till then.

RE:

got shit after posting the video and honestly, i feel worse than before. omg help please, -me talks to keith-

-Anyway, I've improved on all of the issues of myself except from one small portion
was thinking of how to tell me mum and dad about all these issues..... Really need some shut off
IT'S BETTER TYPING HERE YAY

You're a fat ass

you're fat. Your thighs are almost touching already. You have trouble putting on your jeans. What happened to you when you're 12-13?
Stop eating you bitch. It's not helping. People only likes skinny people... You can't control a thing.
Your grades are horrendous, addiction to your iphone is sick. Now.. you can't even control the stuff in life.

What you can control?? The food you eat.

Cut down on carbs.
Eat only during dinner time. Look at those skinny girls complaining that they are not skinny enough?? Look at them as models. Learn from them.

Every size is beautiful is just a joke.
ok you need a super glue for your lips. So you can stop eating

DIDN'T SLEEP AT ALL NOW JETLAAAAG

I KEEP THINKING IT'S THURS, SUPPOSE TO BE FRIDAY NOW

chicken not so pox day 3/4

I feel so much better other than the itchy itchy sensation all over my body. Yes, it includes my bum -_-

I miss school. Still another 10 more days to go....

Let me tell you a lil' fail joke of myself.

"My bum was itching so I applied calamine lotion on it. I've forgotten about it

and went to do my homework. About 40 minutes later, I went into the toilet and had

the shock of my life.

S E M E N

I relaxed after 10 seconds. Lol."

I've downloaded tons of photography app in my phone and they rock like stones. Pun, get it? Took alot of photos of myself; ahem pretty and very retarded ones. It just seems like I'm chicken pox-less already lah. 

      ok, lol->

photo marathon

That's one large ass photo.

Why did my mumma gave me charbby cheeks

aaaaand it's delicious. 

No, I'm not the Overly Attached Girlfriend.

I'm the wife.

LOLSIE. 

Inserts very deep quotes....

I'm the girl in your dreams.

So pretty cuz half of my face was eaten by light.

Chicken Pox- Day 1/2

(Yesterday)

I was feeling really tired in school and I noticed some rashes on my neck and arm when I went home. But I was glad that my mum came back and she brought me to the clinic immediately.

I was diagnosed with chicken pox and I got it from my brother wtf. I also complained about my sudden breathlessness and turns out that I have panic attacks cuz i have thyroids.
Damn it, I need to take blood tests after the virus and go to KK for a hert check-up.
I'm too skinny thus I have super low blood pressure which makes me feel faint.

Went home and got two weeks MC.
It sucks, I wanna scratch them so badly......

(Today)

Ok I wanna go back to school. Thanks to all my friends who wished me to recover soon and those who offered to help me with my homework ^_^

Iris said that the whole class knew I haz chicken pox wtf. She heard Benson said
"Huh? two weeks sia... like that also can"
Lol bitch, for your information, I didn't invite the virus with open arms, ok? Keep your mouth shut if you don't know anything.

I bet A will be talking shit behind my back. I bet Y will also talk shit. I have so few friends. Not surprised if people don't give a fuck when I come back hah.
Mdm Roz is really cute though. Haha

Oh more blisters/red spots are forming. One is under my eyelid and it hurts like a bitch. So worried about how Joelle is gonna pass me the hamsters anyway. Meh, calamine lotion, here I come.

It's like today I have no friends at all so I'm blogging here with my iPhone in class. I feel suckish that I think people around me are talking bad about me. There's so much comfort typing out all these feelings here than in real life.
It's one of the days when I feel that nobody will care about me at all. Can I recover from cyclo??

today

they quarreled about divorce and money. how sweet.
I love both parents but if I were to choose one, I'll chooose my grandparents so that I'll not be sad.

have you ever been so depressed that you're not even motivated to do a single shit in life? you just thought of making the 'pain' go away but school is like shit to you already.

hey sexy lady with a leg on the table

Hi readers I'm so very sorry about short posts. Actually, I'm not cuz I like to record whatever happened to my life so shut up if you don't like it. 

Ok outfit for Sunday was really really casual; Jeans and shirt. Both new, I like! 

Went to the temple with my cousin and yea went home, lol. Boring day so nothing much.

Moving on to Monday- Start of the new school term.

We're changing seats and to be honest, I want to sit with Gabriel and Sabrina. :( I'll miss them. 

Ok, there's really nothing else to look forward to so I'm ending off here with a picture of me and my poong poong who died :(

lol hate camLADIES? so sorry, cuz Im not a whore. Well at least 98% of people who take photos of themselves are not whores so camwhore is a totally wrong term to use dearies. 

hi poong i miss you so much cuz Buddy dislikes me i think.

Stiffen that upper lip up lil' lady

I was pulling myself into depression mood yesterday and Iris had to spend quite a long time to save me lol, yea the group BFCBJKM chat also cheered me up abit.
I was discussing about Tattoos with my parents and lol even though they were nagging I felt so loved. Like finally, all those feelings which left me for a couple of months just came back yesterday. Didn't know whether to cry for depression or joy.

Feeling one-
Centrestage// Deluding myself in lies// Feeling so hopeless cuz I can't even do what I love to do properly---

So I was thinking that I should not even open my mouth to any melody cuz I'm not even good at all. And thanks to everybody who said "Omg the song choice ok leh, can sing." and now when I didn't get into the finals, they came back bullshitting "Maybe it's song choice." Wow thanks. I love your advice, so you're telling me? knn
Just can't express how angry at those people.

Feeling two-
Asking about getting tattoos when I grow up// Questioning about society to my parents// Trashing centre stage to my parents

1) Tattoos
If you're a new reader, I love tattoos. We were watching an American show and there's this woman with tattoos all over her body. I started pointing at the woman and told my father "Eh papa I really want tattoo."

Dad to sis: "You see lah! Come home with tattoo just want scolding only."
Me: "Tsk scold nia"
Sis: "Aiyah pa, disown her!"
Dad: "No lah, won't disown."
Mum: "I tell you all, your parents will never disown, ok?"
-a few seconds of silence-
Me: "Oh so means I can have tattoos lah! ^_^"
Parents: "----------"

Simple convo which brightens me up, my parents love me! LOL.

2) Questioning about society
I was very frustrated about Singapore's kiasu-ness. So I was questioning my dad why must we put so much stress on ourselves. He didn't tell me anything much but just this
"i don't know actually, but I agree with you. I hope that you and mei can earn money and get out of this country and enjoy life. Just don't do drugs ok."

me: "o_o ok."

3) Centre stage
lol this, my mum just keep telling me that maybe one day I can just live my dreams. She told me that surely those who went into then finals have got special vocal lessons lol.
Let me just recall when was the last time she encouraged me.
Hm..maybe few months ago?

Now hush lil' baby don't you cry

Everything's gonna be alright.

Stiffen that upper lid up little lady, I told ya

Daddy's here to hold ya through the night.

-

bye from my couz house.

Just can't fucking take it anymore and it's been years since I felt like this. I need someone to talk to but my contacts are just so fucking limited. I'm in one of those moods which I can just burst out crying the fuck out of my minds. Lesson learnt- Never trust whatever people say unless you see/hear for yourself. Don't be delusional, stop being delusional. Nobody likes you. Fuck off from this planet. Nobody can understand you. Get it? ok.

9:48am
I don't know what to do now but I just woke up with an awfully hungry stomach. My bro is watching the TV with full blast volume and I'm continuously refreshing my Twitter. lol Honestly, I think that BFCBKJM is so much better than Unknowns. Whatever you bunch of dead people who can't talk.
Yesterday, MY chatted with me and I had a different feeling this time round. Wtf I used to anticipate so much when we chat but now it's just like "can we stop talking". Don't know but I feel sad and bad talking to him.
Also, about N, I think I've no feelings for him already. Deleted all of our convo and his photos. I think it's so much better not liking anybody.....or just fantasize about Baron Chen :D
Fuck this shit I shall eat now. Updating later again wheee

12:59pm
Damn it just had 'lunch' and idk what's wrong with me! I always eat a while bowl of meggie but today I can only manage 1/8 of it and drank all the soup only. I'm so fungry lah but just can't eat. fffu

5:30pm
lol i decided to get over him already. Damn sian if a person only dare to text you and treat you like some invisible woman in school right? Anna said it gets to no where, so true. I think it's stupid. Our relationship gets to no where at all, so boring. What's the use!
Can't you just fucking talk or something?!
On my birthday last year, at least MY did something sweet but you did nothing at all, jerk.
He sent a birthday text at 12am sharp last year and you sent a birthday text at around 6pm this year. Wah.
You still got the cheek to tell me "Eh your birthday ah, I not doing anything at all hor" I said ok cuz I don't want any awkwardness but LOL wtf. You really did NOTHING at all.
Lol fuck you. I feel sorry for you. Why? Cuz you don't have any courage at all and your love life is gonna suck soo much.

9:58pm
Just went back from CCHMS after spying on my sis lol wtf. My dinner is only a half bowl of rice and soup, so not hungry. What's wrong with me, I guess I would be fungry at midnight again. As usual lol.

New Hair

I went to the salon around my neighbourhood this morning and the results of my hair made me happy :D

Happy Felly is Happy!!

Dad dropped the three of us at the salon and my sister went to fix her hair first. Then my bro, then me lol.

Duration needed to sit on the chair getting our hair cut with an itchy nose:

Sis- 1 hour

Bro- 30 minutes

Me- 1 hour

I slept halfway during the cutting with my fringe covering my eyes. But the uncomfy-ness is totally worth it. 

The aunty is nice. Unlike those stupid hair-dressers who cut your hair exactly the way you want it which always looks ugly on you, the aunty didn't. 

Instead she was blabbering about how my left and right sides of my short hair are uneven and she won't cut it too short for me incase it curls. Also, about my fringe, I didn't said anything much but the outcome is sooo freaking good. After that, she even straightened my hair without me requesting lol. My first time getting my hair straightened and spazzing about perfectly straight hair. 

I THINK MY BANGS ARE CUTE LOL.

5:37pm
It's fathers' day today and I did nothing at all. He was searching for jobs while my mother was nagging the hell out of herself. There's nothing much today... Er I only drank soup with fish for lunch, and a white piece of bread for break.
That's amazing, lol so proud of muself. I wanna be only 45kg. I can do this :{ )

Slick day

Woke up in the middle of the night sweating and I realised I was sleeping on a boat with rocky waters. I pushed something heavy beside me and went back to sleep. I woke up suddenly feeling really hot and I realised that something soft was covering my body and I pushed that thing away.."OI WAKE UP." and I was back on my bed with a terrible headache.
I couldn't breathe and Dad forced me to take Panadols. I simply dislike them and I choked on it, again. WTF. But I felt so much better.
Chiong-ed all my tuition homework and went to Mrs Chuah with my sister.
Ate the Mango Beancurd before we went to tuition ^_^
Anyway I think the sec 4 guy is more shuai in home clothes.
Went to KFC for dinner and KLP to buy Yoguru and cupcake for my brother.
Hom-ed and read The Expressionless fuck the writer who wrote it. It's fucking creepy.

Tagged and Answered.

Pretty sure that Facebookers know about this 'viral' thingy that goes around tagging people and begs them to answers some questions. 

I'm gonna answer that whole list of questions below er..

Cuz I'm really bored....besides talking to someone now. Hm...

Once you are tagged, answer all the questions honestly, no avoiding!

Starting time: 12:48am

Name: uh ah ain't falling into this

Shoe size: -6 for my canvas shoes

                -7/7.5 for any other shoes

Hair type/Color: Long hair/ I don't know the colour lol but mixed brown and black...

Piercings: One on each earlobe

Tattoos: Imaginary one on the right wrist of mine which says "Don't lose who you are"

Height: 164cm

Weight: 46kg

Righty or Lefty: Righty

What are you wearing now: My panties/bra, smiley t-shirt and my primary school's shorts 

Where do you live: Singapore

Favorite numbers: 29 and 12

Saved emails: No lol

Saved texts: Yea

Been cheated on: Meh I'm too young for this shit

Your room like: Pig sty. A comfy one.

What's right beside me: My phone

What is the last thing you ate: Jelly

Chicken pox: Had it but no I don't want it

Sore throat: Oh no I have a throat made of titanium

Stitches: Yes

Broken nose: Nope

-Do you-

Believe in love at first sight: No

Have any aspirations: Duh

Believe in friends with benefits: No lol one will surely love/like the other

-Who-

Did you last yell at: Sissy?

Was the last person you danced with: My guy friend, I forgotten his name, when I was in Kindergarten.

Last made you smile: Buddy!

-Final Questions-

What are you listening to right now: This fucking typing sounds

What did you do today: Meh computer and respiring

Are you the oldest: Living on this planet? Hell no duh

Indoors or outdoors: Both...

-Today did you- (wtf you said final leh)

Talk to someone you like: Duh friends are people I like

Kiss anyone: Nah

Sing: Yeap

Talk to an ex: LOL yea?

Miss someone: No

Eat something bad: Nah

-Last person who-

You talked to on the phone: My grandad

Went to the movies with: Ruth, Iue Chi, Qi Ying

You went to the mall with: le Dad, Mum, Bro

Who cheered you up: Andrea with her party invitation lol

-Have you-

Been to Mexico: No

Been to USA : No

-Random-

Do you have a crush on someone: I did and now...I don't think so

What books are you reading now: Are you a fetard how can I type and read wtf

Best feeling in the world: People said orgasms but I think feeling blessed would be the best...how does an orgasm feels like anyway...?

Future kids names: Maybe something like.."Hey YO/SUP dinner's ready" LOL

What's under your bed: Medusa

Who do you really hate: No one actually

What time is it now: 1:17am

-Final few-

Single, dating, crushing: Single

What kind of people who you can't stand: I can go on and on but just a few...flirts, people who act popular, hypocrites, backstabbers, selfish people? lol

Are you pretty: Some say yes some say no..so maybe? nah I love comforting myself

Skinny or fat: My mummy says I'm skinny so skinny hehe

Innocent or Mafia: Saint. Nuff said

Favorite quote: Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars.

                        Seeing is deceiving dreaming is believing, it's ok not to be ok. 

                        Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart

                        Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising..Just be true to who you are.

Meh shit this question, just listen to every JessieJ's songs and tadah you'll have favorite quote(S).

Favorite songs: The whole of Who You Are album

Favorite artists: Jessie J, CL, Bom

Vulgar: Yea

Bitchy: Not for me to judge

Dated: Yea

Bias in each K-Pop group?

• Super Junior- None
• SNSD- Taeyeon
• SHINee- Minho/Jonghyun/Onew
• 2NE1-2NE1 lol
• FT Island- None
• SS501- None
• BIGBANG- T.O.P
• TVXQ- None
• 2PM- None
• Sistar- None
• Miss A- None
• MBLAQ- None
• CN Blue- None
• After school- Before school lol no
• KARA- None
• TARA- None
• f(x)- None
• EXO-M- wtf is this
• EXO-K- wtf is this

-END-

What I did yesterday

Yesterday, was fun/boring/scary/exciting.. o_O 

Bro went out with my gannys and before setting off, grandma passed me $200 and said that I could buy any clothes or shoes with it. Obviously like any other teenage girls, our reaction would be "omfg new clothes and shoes man fuck yeah". I ran back home and told my dad about it, he told me not to be so happy first. Suspicious me was suspicious. 

He refused to tell me anything about the money cuz he said he need to ask grandma too. So...I was bored, no excitement already mah, then I glued glow-in-the-dark stickers onto the wall right infront of my study table. 

It was a sticky mess but worth it. Looking at my wall, I've no reason to be sad anymore woots. 

My grannys came to my house and talked about the money. You know what? Yes, the money would be used for buying clothes. But it's for this ritual to prove that I'm a grown up. My dad said that all of my cousin went through this ritual when they turn 14, which is 15 if you count it lunar-ticly. LOL sorry I cannot find any better words to use.

Nothing wrong with this ritual anyway, cuz you get NEW shoes, clothes, bag, socks blah blah blah. New one leh, who don't want ;)

Well for the shoes, I would just be using my new canvas shoes which I haven't wore before...save money what. The clothes chio can already. 

I was excited but afraid about 'what would happen to me' after I'm a grown up. I think nothing is gonna happen wtf lol. 

The rest of the day was spent on homework and food.

We went to Nex after dinner to buy all those new shits. Mum bought me this damn pretty romper and a bag. 

$44 after discount lolol.

I was mad happy, who wouldn't be. It's not like I'm those lucky girls who go shopping like everyday. I only buy new clothes either for Chinese New Year or when there's really nothing to wear ._.

We bought a cake to celebrate mum's lunar birthday and it's fummy. 

Went back home and connected the laptop to the TV to spam Youtube videos. I was spamming Jessie J's live performances and I made my dad admire her lolol. I told him "A person would be damn happy if he or she can sing like her loh." He was like "lol no wonder you're not happy."

-_- Day ended with my sis using the computer and I couldn't sleep lol. 

 watch this for peace. They look like siblings!

My 3rd Lunar Birthday this year

I've celebrated my 3rd lunar birthday of 2012 just now at around 10pm with my family after coming home from an Indian Restaurant lol. See that beautiful picture above? That's strawberry cheesecake yay.

We went to Compass Point to search for cake and a new iPhone cover. My chio cover spoil already wtf. It cracked :( I've been looking for a cover which will suit the skull dust-plug Qi Ying gave to me but gahhh I can't find any :(

Anyway it's like 1am now so it's my mum's lunar birthday LOLOL :D . 

I'm so glad that my mum's birthday is just one day before mine. Why? 

Cuz like that can save money mah, celebrate together LOL. Some more Darrel 15/5 also! 

Till then before I sleep..

A photo of me, without any edits.With my specs, and my I <3 Sg shirt. Messy hair blah blah blah.

Don't I look hot?!

"This is how I look without Make-up. Hot aye?"

-Jessie J

7th June 2012

On 7th June, we celebrated Iue's birthday. It was quite fun but I was bankrupt which was NO fun lol.

Ruth mom's dropped us at Bugis where we bought Iue's present (a three shade of pink Silky Girl Lipgloss) and off we head to Plaza Sing. 

We bought movie tickets for Man In Black 3 and waited for Qi Ying to arrive. It was grand when she arrived...hair combing, hair flipping... Bimbo lah :p

Sat at the corridor and Qi Ying gave us our presents she bought from Genting. I got a cute bear wrist-rest, a skull dust plug and a Hello Kitty Geek specs(Qi Ying's)  lol. 

The day was just fun cuz I screamed my lungs out with Qi Ying in the arcade. It's awefuckingsome man. Iue Chi came a bit late but who cares lol the lead role came! :D

Went to Pizza Hut for lunch and I scared Iue Chi with a creepy picture. Tadah, the whole Pizza Hut stared at us...hmm interesting. I was wearing the geek specs throughout anyway. 

Ok so we went to watch Man In Black 3 and saw our co-form. Awkward but together with her husband, they are damn cute LOL. 

**        **

The arcade is damn addictive lah, especially the lil booth where you catch soft toys. Damn boliao one. I decided to try for ONCE and I lost.....but I tried it again -_- so much for promising myself that I'll only do it once. So addictive how can I not resist! Spent 4 credits on it. My dear Ruth spent about $30 catching nothing. xD

**       **

Really love Iue Chi haha. She was trying hard to help me with my struggles that day. byee

Tattoos

If you're my friend, you should know what I would wanna do when I grow up.

I WANNA HAVE TATTOOS!

Not those big ones, but maybe some meaningful small ones.

I've been researching about tattoos the whole day and what I found out was quite hmm... scary.

Smart people knows that tattoos stay with you forfuckingever. And you wouldn't want to regret after walking out of the tattoo parlour. Unless you're insanely drunk.

Ok, I've found out that by having a tattoo, you'll need to go through pain. Cuz a needle would be poking in and out of your skin and duh it'll be painful. Not that painful but THAT painful if you're doing it on your bony areas. 

I've been thinking of getting a tattoo on my inner left wrist; and my wrist is rather bony so fuck my life.

Afraid of the 'pain', I researched on how does the pain feels like. 

Well, they said that it feels like a needle grazing your skin with a burning sensation. Of course, uncomfy and scary.

My reaction was "oh no." 

So I did something really dumb-

Using my badge pin, scratch out some lines hardly into the skin of my inner wrist.

It didn't hurt that bad actually! but who knows lol. Maybe I'm too soft on myself? Oops. 

WHO CARES THE OUTCOME WOULD BE GREAT IF I'M GONNA HAVE A TATTOO.

The other problem of having tattoos.....is that it will fuck your career opportunities up. It's like a career killer.

WHY. MY. LORD. 

It's just tattoos! I wanna be a doctor when I grow up, I wanna have a tattoo when I grow up. 

boomz my dreams clashed!

And I told my mum, "mummy! I really want tattoo leh! But doctor cannot have tattoos!!"

Mama's reaction?  "OH TOO BAD MY DEAR"

D': so much win, mumma.

Oh and to think, my parents aren't really fans of tattoos, they hates them. 

..................................................

How the heck am I going to get tattoos in the future!

I've seen a few YouTube videos about how parents react to their children who just got their tattoos, I couldn't stop laughing. 

I want angmoh parents too, they are so much lenient and open-minded.

Let's just hope that maybe someday, my Asian parents are gonna be a lil more open minded in terms of body modifications. 

Heck it I do what I want when I'm legal.

WHY ARE GAY GUYS SO HOT

Ending off with hot people.

duck face...anyone?

Just wanna annoy you guys with this thing called the 

DUCK FACE.

Well, duck faces make people wanna punch the computer screen aye? 

Just like how Qi Ying feels like slapping me when I do the duck face.

whoopsie.

love traumatizing people.

Nasty yikes. Double terror.

I think your lips are alil big...

*facepalm*

Girls! Please do things seriously, we know that copying is hardwork, not to mention, trying to be a duck....

Now let's move on to MY FACE. 

Ready? 

:COME AND PUNCH THE SCREEN YO.

Don't I look cute?

ok, this is getting ridiculous.

I've ruined my image.

Anyway, one question.................

are most girls related to ducks?